Miracle of Modern Technology

I am now the proud owner of this marvel of technology. To lift my fog of recent depression, I went on a buying binge and purchased $120 worth of make-up and gadgets from Sephora. My proudest moment came with this little beauty. You may not be able to tell from this photo, but it is a pair of eyebrow tweezers . . . with a light in the middle! You just click a button and a spotlight is ready to aim and destroy every little minute hair that is trying to hide in your skin. Plus it comes in its own little carrying case.

Simply put, the best $22 I've spent this year.

Shakespeare in the Park: Hamlet

What an undertaking it is to get tickets to Shakespeare in the Park. Last year, I enlisted my visitor Kim to try and get us tickets, but we underestimated the Bard's New York fan base and were denied entry. So this year, Alison was taking no chances and I decided it was now or never.

So Alison and I woke at 8:00 on a Sunday morning, tired but determined. Our slightly late partner in crime was Autumn and we hunkered down for four hours of waiting in line just to get the damn tickets. It wasn't so bad until it started pouring down rain. Did Alison and bring an umbrella? Ha! That would have been smart. Luckily Autumn had come prepared with an umbrella, not to mention a towel for us to sit on, and not just any towel, a MTV Room Raiders towel. So we all huddled under the one tiny umbrella, wet and shaking. We finally made it through the rain and got tickets so it was worth it.

We returned to the Delacorte and found a beautiful evening for Shakespeare. The production's marquee names included Lauren Ambrose (Six Feet Under, Can't Hardly Wait) as Ophelia, Sam Waterson (Law and Order) as Polonius and Margret Colin (Gossip Girl, Independence Day!) as the Queen. The production used strange 19th century, mostly military dress and the set was constructed to look like a great hull on a ship, which doubled as a kind of prison. Denmark = Prison, in case you've forgotten your Hamlet. I thought the actor ( Michael Stuhlbarg) that played Hamlet was really good. Committed to his mania, which is how I prefer my Hamlets, he spit out each line with contempt. However, semi-raping the queen was, I felt, unnecessary.

Ambrose is his equal as Ophelia loses her mind (and her hair!). Waterson is a perfect putting old fool, going so far as to convince Alison that he flubbed a line, but according to the New York Times, that was just a calculated lapse meant to showcase Polonius' ridiculousness. The Times went on to call it the "one breathtakingly poignant moment" in the entire production. Hmm, I thought he just flubbed his line, but what do I know?

As my first Shakespeare in the Park experience ended, I realized a play like Hamlet doesn't really serve the surroundings of Central Park. Give me A Midsummer Night's Dream or a Romeo and Juliet (which they did last year) to play off the park's beauty. Hell even Twelfth Night would have been better in an outdoor setting. Hamlet just feels too stuffy for the setting, but overall Shakespeare in the Park deserves its reputation as an iconic New York experience.

The Incredible Hulk

Oh man. Any casting of Edward Norton is enough to sell me. See, I am easy in some respects. So what very little interest I had in ANOTHER Hulk movie was increased twofold when I saw Mr. Norton in the trailer.

So Alison and I swallowed our pride and attended a screening on opening weekend. Much to our surprise, it was better than expected. Norton only look mildly bored, Liv Tyler does her pouty best and William Hurt has never been more commanding in front of a green screen pretending to look at big green monster.

A few things did bother me. Mostly the inconsistency of the Hulk's scale. He seems much larger in some scenes than others. Can't all the money they spend on special effects afford someone to check consistency? Apparently not. Also, there is a scene that takes place on the famous 125th St in Harlem, right outside the Apollo Theater. Now this location, is right down the street from my apartment. Plus, we were in a theater of flesh and blood New Yorkers, most of which definitely know this location. And yet, as the scene unfolds, it becomes painfully obvious that they didn't actually film in that location. There was way too much neon for that particular portion of the city. Upsetting. Again, don't movies like this have enough money to pump in a little change into the local economy by actually filming in Harlem. Then perhaps I could have snuck over and checked Edward out.

Overall, the movie was fun. Not approaching the brilliance of Iron Man, except SPOILER! when he makes an appearance toward the end. But honestly, I'd watch Edward Norton in anything. I think my love for Death to Smoochy proved that long ago.

Quotable #2

Location: gChat

Players: Me, Autumn

Scene: Autumn and I were on gChat discussing our plans to try and go see Shakespeare in the Park's production of Hamlet.

Autumn: Weird but last time I went to Shakespeare in the Park I saw Heath Ledger there!

Me: Oh, that's right. Maybe we'll see his ghost there.

Autumn: Maybe he'll play the ghost in the play.

-Scene-

Note: Yes, we're aware that this is equal parts offensive and equal parts hilarious.

My iPod reads my mind

I've had a bad week. I won't divulge all the details but needless to say, I've shed some tears, most of which have fallen on the subway (safely hidden behind some sunglasses) while listening to my iPod. Anything and everything from Neutral Milk Hotel to the Once soundtrack to LCD Soundsystem can set me off. And then my iPod delivered the coup de grâce in the surprising form of Matchbox Twenty. In case you've forgotten, and I had, they had some good songs, "Leave" being one of them. And this song's relevance was not lost on my tear ducts. Some choice lines

It's amazing.
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it’s gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we’ll see who’s sorry now
If that’s how it’s gonna stand, when
You know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
The one you’re leaving out

--

Oh, Rob Thomas. You get me. Cue tears.

Times Center: Sarah Jessica Parker

Jacky and I jumped at the chance to see Sarah Jessica Parker at the TimesCenter pre-Sex and the City The Movie's release. It was kind of a career retrospective and it was cool to see her up close. (See photo).

Jacky and I met at the Times building and I walked up to see that Jacky had secured us the very first spot in line. Note: We were definitely on the younger spectrum of the crowd and all were jealous of our amazing spot in line.

When the doors opened we struggled inwardly about if we should sit in the front row or not. We decided against it and went for the fourth. When she entered, she looked exactly the same as on T.V. Really short and cute as a button. Throughout the talk, which it must be said was conducted by a much better interviewer than the last Times Talk I went to, I was struck by how genuine and humble she was. She talked about her start on Broadway (she was Annie!), where all she has lived in New York, the show and then the film. She spilled Carrie's job in the film and watched some clips.

All in all, $30 well spent.

Iron Man

I'm a little late on this one, but it was so good I couldn't not address its success. Robert Downey Jr. has and still is one of my underrated favorites. My love was founded in Home for the Holidays, nurtured by Only You and cemented by Zodiac. By the time I heard he was playing Iron Man, I was happy to see he was getting more play than just a small, but fun, role in Good Night and Good Luck.

I should also admit that I usually really enjoy comic book movies. I never really read comic books as a kid, except Archie, but I support the fan boys they create (reminder: I heart all Star Wars and all The Lord of the Rings, so I'm a kind of fan boy myself). I enjoy all the Batman movies,—even the George Clooney one, in that it's so bad, it's good way—Spiderman 2 and The Incredible Hulk (review soon to come).

So Iron Man . . . it's good. Not just good . . . really good.

Downey Jr. is Tony Stark, a billionaire playboy who's made his millions mass producing weapons and selling them to the government, and it turns out to terrorists. Stark is kidnapped as he's being moved by the military in Afghanistan and forced to build a weapon of mass destruction for the enemy. Instead he builds himself a suit of armor that allows him to blast his way out of capture. Stark re-enters the world a changed man, determined to stop making weapons for profit, much to the chagrin of his business partner Jeff Bridges (I wonder who'll be the bad guy here?). Stark hunkers down at his Malibu mansion to build and test a better suit for himself, helped along by his plucky assistant Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow).

Suffice to say, not everyone in Stark's life is happy with his direction and one guy in particular tries steal his idea and makes himself a meaner Iron Man and a big fight scene ensues. Probably the best of the movie comes at the end, after Stark has done good, and he's holding a press conference where he's supposed to lie about what's happened. SPOILER This is why it pays to cast Downey Jr. When Stark takes a big breath to start lying his ass off, we believe he's about to, until he says "Fuck it, I am Iron Man." Cue end credits. Brilliant! Ok, he doesn't say "fuck it" but he might as well have. He is so rakishly charming that he totally gets away with being a huge asshole in the beginning and by the end the audience is like, "Yeah tell the world you're Iron Man!" It's the same effect Vince Vaughn has in Swingers, you know he's full of shit but you can't help but fall for it. Is it surprising Iron Man was directed by John Favreau of Swingers fame? I think not.

On the bus

Cichelli and I were on the bus today and we had a driver that thought he was quite the entertainer. After I entered, he inquired why I hadn't brought him a milkshake, since I was enjoying one myself, and I casually chuckled and scurried to find a seat. But he was just getting started.

As the bus made it's journey up Amsterdam, he decided it was time for fun and games. He got on the speaker and asked the passengers to yell out all the body parts that had three letters.

Naturally, this started innocent enough. "Eye, lip, ear, toe!" The passengers yelled out.

Then some wise guy in front had to go there. "Ass!" Hilarity ensued.

As if this wasn't enough, the driver had one more joke up his sleeve. As he was driving he said, "Ok, get ready, I'm going to teach all of you that are standing the first step of the merengue."

He then slammed on the brakes, thrusting all who were standing forward in a seemingly choreographed "dance move," and he chuckled to himself and drove on into the night.

Sex and the City

Ok, I've been working on this one because I wanted to make sure I did it justice. So I actually saw the movie twice to make sure I didn't miss anything and that my first impressions were correct. They were.

Let me preface this with the admission that I adore Sex and the City. Yes, it often induces eye-rolling with its writing/computer-generated butterfly, but on the whole it is funny and touching and . . . er . . . fabulous. I also happened across the filming of the movie last September, while my parents and sister was in town. They were filming a scene with Sarah Jessica Parker—that I would later find out was cut from the film, but included in all the trailers—outside of Pastis in the Meatpacking District. So it was with no small amount of excitement that Autumn and I went to an 11:30 showing on opening day. (See below for funny observations of the throngs of women we observed at the theater)

So the film . . . SPOILERS FOLLOW

First things first, the plot catches up with our four main ladies four years after the finale where Mr. Big finally told Carrie she was the one, Charlotte got news of the successful adoption of a Chinese daughter, Miranda learned to love and live in Brooklyn and Samantha and Smith had sex.

Not much has changed except Samantha has followed Smith to L.A. to manage his career/have sex. Big and Carrie are happy and moving in together, Steve and Miranda are having marriage trouble and Charlotte and Harry are the picture of pure happiness. As I'm sure you've all heard, if not seen, Big freaks out over the wedding and leaves Carrie pretty much at the altar. What follows is a surprisingly raw look at what happens when an adult gets her heart broken. No changing of her relationship status on Facebook, Carrie is a true grown up. She breaks down and completely disappears from Big's periphery.

There is one a scene that really sums it up. When the girls go on Carrie's honeymoon with her, she manages to escape to the bathroom for some solitude. In the scene, she takes off her overlarge sunglasses, washes her face and just looks at herself in the mirror. What we see is a woman completely destroyed, wearing no make-up, no designers, no armor. Moments like that are when the film is at it's most affecting. When all the fluff is on mute and we just get to see these characters be human. Another one comes right after Big has told Carrie he just left the wedding. The pass each other on the street and Carrie jumps out of the car to hit him with her bouquet (Ridiculous? Cliché? Yes.) Big starts to give her a swan song of he just freaked out for a minute and he's ready now and Charlotte bursts in with an outraged and teary "No!" as she whisks Carrie away from him.

There are other moments like this but really these are just illustrative of a simple fact: My friends would do that for me and I would that for my friends. That is why women love this show, and I'm guessing why most loved the movie, although I'll admit now, that I'm not in that category.

One thing that didn't do it for me was the sheer amount of attention paid to consumerism. The whole Vogue photo shoot was unnecessary, especially considering the voice over that cooed the names of the designers. Yes, the show did it's share of lusting after designer clothes/shoes, but perhaps because it was confined to a mention or two in a half hour of television, it never bothered me much. This was overt and ridiculous.

Otherwise the entire plot felt forced to me. Sure, a comment on what happens after you find love is refreshing for a romantic comedy. If the film had actually explored that notion via Carrie, it may have been more successful. What happens after Carrie finds love? She loses it for the majority of the movie only to forgive it the moment her eyes meet her beloved. I understand the importance of forgiveness and I'm by no means suggesting that she shouldn't have forgiven Big, but come on, how about keeping up the adult veneer of this movie and have an actual conversation about what happened? Speaking of, what did happen? We're expected to believe that Miranda's one throwaway comment was enough to push Big over the edge? Maybe I give him too much credit but he had made Carrie happy for four years since the end of the show. Big had changed at the end of the series. I think he's probably learned what not to do in regards to her. I didn't buy the whole leaving and then "what am i doing? moment" It felt lazy.

As for the rest of the girls, anyone who watched the show shouldn't believe that the character of Steve would cheat on Miranda. After everything she's put him through up to now, he cheats? Without ever trying the counseling thing beforehand, hell talking about it. I thought we were all adults here? But I see why it happened, Carrie and Miranda needed to learn to forgive together. Oh happy day, lets make out on the Brooklyn bridge. (Note, I did tear up at this part. I can be a cynic and a romantic all in one. I'm complex.)

I liked the story of Charlotte having everything she ever wanted and wondering why it happened to her and not her friends. I think the scene where she freaks out about running was really good. Of course she's scared something bad is going to happen! But you can't live life scared of actual life happening Charlotte, so keep on running. Also, didn't anyone else want the baby to be named Shayla? Don't know what I mean? Re-watch season 1.

As for Samantha, she was the most lazily written. I understand the "life revolving around the man" part and that was a good way to start, but turning Smith into an over-tanned, smarmy asshole is something that no one who watched the show should accept. This man shaved his head for her in one of the most romantic gestures I've seen on T.V. He would never act like he does in the movie, no matter how many "pounds" Samantha put on. But one of our couples had to suffer for this film being made, and Samantha made the ultimate sacrifice and went back to being a stereotype of a sex-obsessed character. All her character's growth from the series was unnecessary, I guess.

So I've been pretty negative. But let's reiterate that I've already seen it twice. So with any of my squabbles, did I still enjoy myself? Yes, of course. But I can't help feel that they may have tampered too much with an already fabulous thing. (However, I totally fell for the proposal with the shoe. I am ashamed.)

Notes on the movie-going crowd.
•I didn't witness this exchange but the way it was told to me coupled with the fact that I did sit next to these girls still makes it valid.

Autumn and I arrived semi-early to get in line so we didn't have to sit in the front row. There was a line formed already so we took a seat. I went to the bathroom and missed this exchange. There was a group of three or four girls behind us who apparently didn't really like one of the girls they were with. Autumn heard them complain about her when she left to get a drink. I don't blame them because she seemed obnoxious when I saw her and she was wearing a weird Sgt. Pepper band jacket completely unironically. So Autumn was eavesdropping and heard them talking about the fact that every girl there was really dressed up. Dresses, heels, nails done, the works. (Autumn and I noted this too, as we were in jeans, T-shirts and flip flops). Keep in mind, we were waiting for the 11:30 p.m. show.

Sgt. Pepper: Why is everyone so dressed up?
Friend #1: They probably are going out after the movie or they went to dinner before.
Sgt. Pepper: (Disgusted tone) What? There is no way they went to dinner before. No New Yorker goes to dinner before 10:30 p.m.
Friend #1: Uh, I go to dinner at like 8:00 sometimes.
Sgt. Pepper: Ew
Friend #2: Yeah, sometimes I go to dinner at like 6:30.
Sgt. Pepper: Ew.

First of all, "Ew" is not a proper response to anything, let alone a claim that purports you are really cool and don't eat until 10:30. Anyway, the way Autumn said "Ew" in the retelling made me laugh for days.

•I've been to a lot of movies on opening nights. People always get there early, wait/sit in a long line, usually on the floor, and wait for the theater doors to open. Then they usually stay in said line and enter the theater in a civilized way.

Not here. Here, grown women start entering the theater in a civilized way and then decide "oh no, that bitch did not cut in front of me!" And then kick off their heels, disregard all manner of social decorum and run into the theater. We were in awe and scared for our lives.

•Last note: When we got our seats, which were just fine and we didn't even run or push anyone over, we heard a huge pop come from somewhere near us. "Did someone shoot someone?" Autumn logically asked. Then the guy next to me said, in a way-too-excited tone "No, we brought champagne!"

-Fin-

The Swell Season—Radio City Music Hall

Clearly if you've read this blog, you know that I adore the movie Once. So I naturally jumped at the chance to see the movie's stars perform with their band, The Swell Season, at Radio City Music Hall. Alison, who spent $12 on a martini glass that had a pair of rocketette's legs as a stem, and I had pretty swell (tee hee) seats. However, we were late and missed the opener, which was The Interference who happen to join them in the movie and sing the song "Gold." Not to worry, they came back and joined Glen Hansard for that song later in the show. Obviously the concert was fabulous and in the interest of not droning on and on, I'll try and be concise.

Highlights:
The first song was "Say it to Me Now," and Hansard sang it acoustic with no mic. I'm sure the people at the very top in the back couldn't hear him but it's their fault for not having seats as good as ours. When he belts the first line of the chorus, I get goosebumps and my attraction to him grows and grows.

After the first song, when Marketa joined Hansard on stage they seemed quite overwhelmed by their venue. At one point Hansard says the first time they played in New York, they were thrilled to have sold out Pianos, which is a tiny bar/music venue on the Lower East Side that I've been to and loved, so having sold out Radio City was very surreal to them both. Cue cheers!

At one point during the first few songs, Hansard stopped to apologize for his language, blaming it on the fact that his Irish decent makes Irish folk want to fuck up the English language at every opportunity, hence all the cursing. Awesome.

Clearly, I teared up at several points during the show. Most notably during "When Your Mind's Made Up," "Leave" and Oscar winner "Falling Slowly." Also, Hansard kept turning back the piano and giving Marketa loving looks. They are so damn cute, it's almost to the point of being ridiculous.

Hansard did a cover of Van Morrison's Astral Weeks and it was fucking insane. People literally lost their minds at this point.

Marketa brought her sister up on stage to sing a song with her. While it was an incredibly cute gesture, the song they chose to sing was very strange. It was called "Gently Johnny" and it was from the movie Wicker Man. Just . . . weird.

A choice favorite quote referring to the chance they took with the music from Once:
"A couple years ago, we decided to kick our ball as hard as we could, and see how far it would go," Hansard said. "We were hoping it would reach the end of the garden, but we watched it go … across the street, over the next town, into a place we’d never even heard of before. And the great thing about (nights like this) is that it sort of quiets the 1% of you that wishes you could have your ball back."

During one song that included a violin solo, the violinist took the song into an unexpected but amazing place by launching into "Pure Imagination" from the original Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Hansard, who looked caught off guard but pleased, rolled with it and sang a bit of the Gene Wilder classic.

They did not one, not two but three encores because they didn't want the night to end and the crowd loved them all. They ended the night with another Van Morrison cover of "Into the Mystic."

Verdict: One of the best nights I've spent in New York. Also, I clearly can't be concise about things that I love so much.

Edit: Alison would like the mention of her glass purchase to reflect the fact that the $12 bought her the glass, which was filled with a strong strawberry daiquiri. She did not spend $12 on the glass alone.