Modern Family: Phil on Wire

Season 3, Episode 3: Someone is snoring at the Delgado-Pritchett house. While Gloria thinks it is Jay, the camera pulls back to reveal that the family has gotten a dog that snores loud enough to wake Gloria. Jay is clearly smitten with Stella, enough to allow her to sleep in the bed when he won't let Manny, who we see is sleeping on the floor. ("Answer the question, Jay")

The newest addition to the family likes to spend time chewing on Gloria's shoes and taking all of Jay's affection, including Gloria's place in the shower with him.

At Cam and Mitchell's, Cam decides he wants to go on a juice fast. Mitchell fears a hungry Cam will disrupt a dinner at his boss's house, especially since Cam goes through six stages when he is on a diet:
 
1. The Clean Sweep—Cam throws out all junk food in the house.
2. Attack Mitchell—Mitchell tries to avoid this by joining in the juice fast. It's them versus food.
3. Soap Actress—Cam becomes incredibly emotional, distraught that his sister just can't put herself out there more. Why ARE men so superficial?
4. A Rush of Epiphanies—Cam doesn't need food. Architecture is EVERYWHERE! And true, Spaniards DO make amazing athletes.
5. Despair—Cam can't even bring himself to seek when Lily hides.
6. Rage—The kitchen cabinets never stood a chance.

Mitchell does admit he is proud that Cam has made it farther in a diet than he ever has before. Though he fears what stage comes next.

Over at the Dunphy's Phil and Luke are watching Man On Wire and marveling at how awesome people are. Cam stops by to drop off the junk food from their house. Luke quickly commandeers it and hides it in his room. Watching the film inspires Phil to fulfill his dream of walking on a tightrope. He and Luke set up a test run in the yard and Luke's enthusiasm, while appreciated by Phil, is really the result of way too much chocolate.

Alex is being placed in a higher math course, the same course Haley is taking, and has been at least once before. Distraught that the girls will be in the same class, Haley spells out some ground rules: No looking at Haley in class and no texting Haley in class. Claire lectures the girls that sometimes they need to just rise above the small stuff as a school cop comes buy to lecture her about stopping in a loading/unloading zone. Claire, sensing this was a time for a lesson, politely "rises above" an unpleasant situation. She naturally thinks of a great comeback line after driving away.

When the girls return from their first day in the same class, it was obviously a disaster. Haley thought 8 was a prime number and Alex reminded the teacher to give the class homework. Claire tries a "subtle" manipulation ("The two of you could have been super Dunphys") to get the girls to help each other out: Haley helps Alex with her social standing and Alex helps Haley with her schoolwork. However, the girls take this to mean Alex helps Haley cheat if she gets a seat at the cool table at lunch.

Phil continues his quest to be a tightrope walker in the yard but is having trouble, complete with awesome "swear" phrases such as "Chicken and a biscuit!" and "Bartles and Jaymes!"

Gloria, frustrated with Cam's call asking to describe all her meals for the day, stumbles across Stella caught in the act of chewing on her clothes. Gloria offers up one of Jay's shoes and tries to get Stella to chew on it to give him a taste of the dog's show-induced wrath.  Stella is not interested so Gloria manages to show the dog how it's done by eating the shoe herself while promptly discovered by Jay and Manny. Note: This is as ridiculous as it sounds. It does allow for a patented "animal reaction shot" that TV shows think never fail. They are right.

The next day when Claire is picking up the girls from school she gets a call that they are in the principal's office for cheating. While on the phone, school cop comes over to give her another parking lecture (and a ticket). This time Claire does not rise above. She lashes out and rips up the ticket and throws it in the cop's face. The girls emerge from the principal's office to find mom lecturing them while handcuffed. None of the ladies can be considered Super Dunphys today.

Phil picks up Luke from school after Luke throws up. Luke confesses saying he doesn't need a doctor. he ate all the junk food Mitch brought over because of their "Jew Fast." Phil tells Luke it's OK, as long as he learned a lesson and ruminates that he too learned a lesson about his ability as a tightrope walker. Luke mentions perhaps the problem is that the rope was only six inches off the ground, where Phil knew he could fall. If the rope was higher, Phil would have to stay on it. "Genius!" Phil exclaims. And yes you can have a donut!

At Mitch's boss's party, which is a fundraiser for sea life, the juice fast is weighing on both the men. As Mitch's boss tells a story about a sea lion (Snorkles) who he befriended and then who died because of a plastic bag, Mitch and Cam lose it and run out into the water. Mitch admits he is starving was only doing the fast for Cam. Cam admits he was only doing the fast for Mitch. I love you the way you are, etc. Cue embrace (I think a kiss would have been appropriate here. It would have felt more natural than just a hug. I still think the show is avoiding the kissing thing too much, even after the beautiful kiss episode of last season. Have we seen Cam and Mitch kiss since?)

As the Dunphy ladies return home, the girls apologize for their behavior. The arrive in time to see Phil walking a tightrope seven feet in the air. "Don't even bother, he's in the zone. He can't hear you," Luke warns them. Phil putting his dream into action instead of just talking the talk wraps the episode up in a nice little saccharine-filled bow. It's sweet and only truly cringe-inducing when Claire utters the line: "Turns out I've had my Super Dunphy all along." (Shudder)

Kind of a meh episode for me, but what did you guys think? Did the end segment make your eye twitch with cute overload?

Great lines and observations: 

Claire: "Right now our daughters are upstairs making a decision they think is their own but really was an idea that was skillfully implanted by me." Phil: "Inception, Claire. Dangerous game but I like it."

Phil: "Luke, grab your camera." Luke pops up from couch: "I was just sleeping." Pops handful of candy in his mouth.

Phil: "If I had a nickel for every time I puked in school do you know how much money I'd have? Luke: "35 cents?" Phil: "Exactly."

Mitch: "It's tough enough to deal with Cam when I'm at full strength, but I have been fasting just as long as he has and I do not have the energy to deal with a big, needy brisketcase . . . basketcase."

Mitch: I really think you need to eat something." Cam: "What? You are supposed to be my support! Away from me temptress. And I never thought I'd call you that in a negative way."

Gloria to Jay: "You used to put me first. You used to want me in that shower." Manny: "Should I be here for this?" Gloria: No Manny it's OK, I go. I want you to know this, where I come from men cherish woman. It goes wife, mistress, dog, dog always at the bottom.

Cam as Mitch is crying: "I think he just needs a little air." Mitch: "You know who else needed air, SNORKELS!"