The episode opens with Claire shopping with the "mad fun" Phil. When he gets distracted by an attractive woman, Claire ends up falling into a display of canned peaches. Claire insists that Phil pushed the cart, which pushed her into the display, but Phil denies any wrongdoing. Later, when Phil is recounting the story to the kids and Claire insists that it was Phil who pushed her, the family gangs up on her to make fun of her need to always be right. This inspires one of the most realistic exchanges this family has had in awhile, with all the kids (and Phil) chiming in with placating asides about Claire being right all the time. Families do this and it's nice to see something that is grounded in reality, especially in an episode when Claire moves from pleasantly neurotic into shrill territory.
Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell are planning to announce to the family that they are going to adopt a baby boy but are having trouble with Lily's proclamation that she hates the idea of a baby. She also mentions that she "wants the baby dead." In an effort to warm Lily to the idea of a baby, the men host a play date where Lily promptly pushes the baby out of Cam's arms with a cry of "My daddy!" Clearly concerned, Mitch thinks her attitude stems from her dependence on Cam—a result of Cam's coddling nature. Cam can't even take Lily to preschool, opting to take her shopping to buy matching hats. Cam also allows Lily to hang from his neck like a stuffed monkey with Velcro hands and holds her hand even when he's in the shower. OK, he realizes, maybe he does coddle her.
When Cam is struggling with his new no-coddling policy, Mitchell is enjoying the fact that (for once) a parenting issue isn't his fault—previous issues that were his fault include being distant, working too much and messy french braids. To ease Cam's suffering, Mitchell decides to take Lily to school where he learns from Ms. Elaine (amazing teacher name) that the real trouble is that Lily has trouble sharing, a trait Mitch confesses she probably got from him.
Over at the Delgado-Pritchett residence, Gloria is letting Manny's principal have it after he accuses Manny of stealing a locket. "What do you think all Colombians are criminals because the Colombian necktie is a symbol of violence all around the world?" Gloria yells through the phone. Later, Jay confronts Manny about the stolen necklace and eventually breaks him by making him sweat under the lights in the garage. Manny says he took the necklace as a token from one of his crushes, and Jay insists Manny confess to Gloria, after ensuring that Manny doesn't actually want to wear the locket. The next morning, Manny comes clean and Jay suggests that Gloria make Manny confess to the principal, though she worries that he'll be labeled as the "jewelry thief" along with his other titles such as "the boy with the pan flute," and "the boy with the puffy shirt."
At school, Manny is expressing his fears about confessing when Gloria decides to let him off the hook and breaks into the owner's locker to return the locket, only after making Manny promise to never do anything dishonest again. On the way to Cam and Mitchell's, Jay asks Manny how his confession to the principal went and Gloria tries to steer the conversation elsewhere before Manny can give himself away.
I don't even want to get into a relatively pointless C-storyline about the girls tricking Luke into moving into the attic in order to not share a room. It mostly serves the "Claire is always right" storyline. Though, man, I love Luke.
Prepared for the adoption announcement with an "It's Gonna Be A Boy" banner, sparklers and Footloose's "Let's Hear It For the Boy" at the ready, the family gathers at Cam and Mitchell's. While Luke is talking to Cam, Lily pushes him with another cry of, "My daddy!" "This isn't over," sneers Luke. Mitch admits that Ms. Elaine told him that Lily has a problem with sharing, which she might have gotten from him. Cam, angry that Mitchell let him suffer all day, says they are not making the adoption announcement because he's not feeling joyful, a sentiment Mitch says he shares (finally).
Jay confronts Gloria about Manny's confession and says he knows she she never took him to the principal. Gloria's poker face doesn't crack. "You'd be surprised what people can live with, Jay," she says like a stone cold fox.
Angry that no one in her family believes her about Phil pushing her in the market, Claire pulls out a security video she got from the grocery store to prove she is right. It's at this point where we start to hate Claire instead of laugh with her. She puts the video on. She was right! "Suck it!" she tells her family. When Gloria points out she shouldn't tell her children to suck it, Cam agrees and points out that you never no what kids will pick up. Mitch vehemently apologizes and says they both need to examine their actions if they are going to adopt another baby. With the cat out of the bag, Cam hurries to unfurl his banner, queue up his song and light his sparklers. Jay says no kid wants a sibling and Claire hated Mitch so much that she put him in the dryer.
"I didn't do it because I hated you. I did it because my friend Marcy said it wouldn't run with a kid inside and I knew it would. I was right." Claire admits she has a sickness. Jay tries to diffuse the situation by proposing a toast to Manny, celebrating the fact that he was someone who stood up and admitted he was wrong. Of course, Manny can't handle the guilt and confesses to Jay that Gloria broke into the locker and had them run away. Jay relishes the fact that he was right and it's clear where Claire got her sickness from.
Not as successful for me as "Dude Ranch" what with all the annoying Claire bits and the Dunphy kids non-storyline, but still had some solid laughs. The show needs to tone it down on the "Claire is uptight" stuff and make us like her again after two episodes where she has played overbearing and insufferable. Otherwise, I always love to see Manny cracking under guilt and Phil cracking everyone up.
Great lines and observations:
"Freestyle sandwich rap: Tucked in between two whole wheat slices, pastrami and Swiss are my only vices." Phil's market sandwich rap.
Cam: "My sister was born with a full set of teeth." Mitch: "That's not true." Cam: "You should have seen her crib. It looked like beavers lived there."
Gloria: "My cousin Rosamarina when she was 14 she stole something and after that everyone thinks of her as the girl who steals cars. Jay: "She stole a car?" Gloria: "Cars. But after she got that label, what else could she do?"
Claire: "I'm going to skip this meeting of the 'Pile on Claire Club." Phil:"I guess I pushed her into that pile too."
Luke: "Do you have any furniture? I'm moving into the attic." Mitch: "The attic?" Luke: "Yeah, at least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in the closet."
"Great Governor!" Phil's reaction to the realization that Claire has needed to be right since she was a child.
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