Je me sens vivant!

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The sun was filling the little square with the kind of golden light usually reserved for romantic comedies. I should have been annoyed with all the people who surrounded me, but their chatter, incessant photo taking, foreign tongues and giggling children had no effect on me for I was one of them today, as much as I'd like to deny it. I snagged a seat and took in the scene around me. A scene that brought back many memories—a church service, a steak, a missing aunt—but I was still able to simply enjoy the exact moment I was in. I took a bite of a perfectly flaky pain au chocolat that none in New York can even compare to and heaved a sigh. I had made it back to Paris.

I had woken up at 3 a.m., caught two buses, a cramped plane, the stupid RER and a dank metro and when I finally arrived, unwashed and bleary eyed, I had never felt less tired. I quickly dropped off my luggage and headed out, turned a corner and there she was, bathing in the bluish-gray morning light.

Years of dreaming and scheming to get back there had finally paid off. I breathed in the smell of French bread, early fall and garbage—it is just a city after all—and you could have punched me and nothing could the smile from my face. I made the short walk along the Seine toward the Île Saint-Louis and I was practically skipping. I made my way down the narrow cobblestone streets where Paris began and stumbled into a brightly lit bakery, pastries gleaming in the still-early morning light. I made my request and my french flowed out as if I had never once forgotten how to say "Merci" and I quickly made my way to the square in front of Notre Dame. I hadn't planned it to be my first stop but it was like a magnet; pulling me to the true center of the city in order to welcome me back. It is where the above moment took place, me on a bench breathing in the beauty of the scene, enjoying my pastry and feeling satisfied, giddy, content and more alive than I'd felt in months.