Happy

December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and [...]

I had a couple photos that would work for this but I chose this one because

1. I'm incredibly happy in it.
2. I'm eating ice cream
3. And yet look skinny

This photo was taken on my last night in Paris. I had spent the late afternoon reading by the Louvre but wanted to go back to the Eiffel Tower to watch the lights turn on. I was delighted to find the place packed with people, and it didn't even seem like it was all tourists. I watched a group of French young people, two of them parents to an adorable little girl who was playing with all their friends. Everyone around was having fun, drinking wine and just enjoying the warm summer night. To prove I was actually there, I asked a group of girls to take my picture. I'm sure they thought I was crazy when I made that face, but it is my signature move in photos.

But back to item one. I am very happy in the photo. I was proud of myself for going to Paris alone. Proud that I didn't let being lonely ruin my good time. Proud that I could sit there and remember that I took photos in that very spot with my parents a few years earlier with happiness instead of complete sadness. Proud that I made that trip to London happen period.

Also here is a video of the magic moment. (I can't figure out how to flip it)

Traveling man

Note: Some of the prompts are incredibly lame, hence the delay. Hard to get excited to write about. So therefore I will only write the ones that interest me.

December 22 – Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

How did I travel? Well by subway, ferry, airplane, train, and Zipcar. What a weird question to ask. instead I'll catalog all the places I've been this year for posterity.

MenuDirections conference
March 20-23: Miami, Fla.
The annual national conference for my magazine brought me to Miami for the second time. Though I didn't get the chance to leave the hotel at all so I enjoyed none of the city's delights except during our annual Dine Around, where the entire conference enjoys a progressive dinner at three Miami restaurants. I was so busy I didn't even get to enjoy any pool time.

Visit to University of New Hampshire
March 31-April 1st: Durham, N.H.
I got a tour from my favorite foodservice director in a little electric buggy around campus. He even had a free basket of wine, cheese and snacks put in my hotel room. I was also there on the day they had a huge special event featuring Mary Ann Esposito, TV chef on PBS, who gave me a free cookbook and lots of delicious food. Driving back from this trip I had the fun experience of having to pull over for not one, not two, but three conference calls. It was then that I got the news that our company had been purchased. These calls caused my phone to die and in panic mode to find a place to charge it for the final conference call, I pulled over in Greenwich, Conn. into an office park, sneaked in and charged my phone. Thinking I had enough juice, I went outside but quickly the phone started dying again. Instead of risking discovery, I found an outlet on the outside of the building, behind some bushes. So there I sat, hidden behind bushes, plugging my phone in as I listened to my company's big news. People who worked there must have thought I was insane.

Visit to University of Massachusetts
April 22-23: Amherst, Mass.
This trip I was treated to the huge Taste of UMass event , which included a Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest where I saw a young man vomit. This trip also marked my rental car's collision with a Porsche, which thankfully has never amounted to any money. Though I still live in fear of receiving the bill for this mistake THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT.

Casey's wedding
May 12-17: Chicago, Ill.
I've written about this trip several times but it was so lovely I must recap. We had a great bachelorette party with karaoke and the Great Will of China, heard about the boys' bachelor party at Medieval Times/an arcade where Phill got knighted. The Kritikos', the Cardons, Cichelli and myself shared a lovely meal in Wicker Park where Ted critiqued Jared's order of duck, I tried a scallop for the first time and Corinne made us milkshakes afterward. We watched Casey and Phill graduate in a beautiful church, where we found out Casey had won a ton of awards that she told no one about. We gathered for a fun-filled rehearsal dinner where we had the longest conversation about zucchinis that anyone has ever had. The next day we watched Casey and Phill get married and showed everyone how to dance to "Don't Stop Me Now." Great trip.

Casey's reception
May 21-24: Kansas City
Another celebration of Casey and Phill's nuptials, this one joined in by many more friends that I knew...We shared a incredible night of karaoke, characterized by a brilliant rendition of "I Swear." The weekend was capped off with the Sigmon's and Kritikos' joining the Ramsey's (and for a time, Dan and Kim) for a viewing of the finale of "Lost" and beef Stroganoff.

Zach and Vanessa's wedding
May 28-31: Washington, D.C.
I begged to be invited to this and good man that he is, Gavin obliged and invited me as his date. A lovely dinner was followed by an epic night of boozing, complete with shots, hot hamburger tales, makeouts (by some) and a visit from a dear friend, and current D.C. resident, Jessica. The next day Alison, Kim and I took in the Air and Space museum, which we tore apart with our humor. The wedding itself was small and lovely. Very unique and touching, even though I didn't know the bride and groom as well as some. The night that followed was filled with Lady Gaga getting the party started and we didn't stop dancing for five hours. Fantastic.

Visit Corinne/FARE conference
June 25-30: Chicago, Ill.
A work trip gave me a chance to visit Corinne and Ted for Corinne's birthday. We had a great day on the beach, which afforded my first dip in a Great Lake. We went out for drinks to celebrate Corinne's birth with some of her fantastic friends. Then I retreated to Oakbrook for a conference where I had to moderate a panel, which was also a first for me. I was so nervous, especially when I looked in the crowd and saw my publisher and the CEO for our new company. I made it through but swore never to do it again.

NACUFS conference
July 7-10: San Jose, Calif.
Another work trip, this time to the West coast for the conference for college and university foodservice directors. The trip did afford me the opportunity to travel to Monterrey to see Miss Jennifer Ghrode and the lovely Katy. They showed me around their town, the aquarium and took me to a wonderful breakfast in Carmel.

Trip to visit Jeff
July 28-Aug. 8: London, UK and Paris, France.
This I've covered so I won't gush anymore. I spent too much money to go see Jeff and go to Paris for three days. Worth every penny.

Trip for Autumn/Gold's birthday
September 10-12: Atlantic City, N.J.
This was an epic impromptu trip. After a night of watching AFV monkey clips and several beers, we decided to book a hotel in A.C. for the weekend after our last Mets game of the season. Somehow we got the brilliant idea for 10 of us to take a limo from the Mets game to our hotel in A.C. It was inspired idea that completely lived up to the hype we had created in our heads. After the sheer amount of booze during the trip down, the rest of the weekend was rather mild in recovery. But still very fun and hilarious. I also won $80 on a slot machine so well done me.

Grandma's 90th birthday
September 22-27: Kansas City
Speaking of epic, to celebrate my Grandma's epic life, we had a huge party with all my cousins. Had the chance to spend some good times with them at the famous Double Nickel karaoke, where I destroyed Gangsta's Paradise.

Trip to University of Colorado, Colorado State University and Denver LTC
Sept. 27-29: Boulder, Colo., Fort Collins, Colo., Denver
I flew directly to Colorado after Grandma's birthday for visits to two colleges and a long-term care residence. I'd never been to Boulder and it was just as cool as you hear, though I would have liked more time to explore. The director at CSU did take me on a driving tour of Fort Collins and Rocky Mountain National Park, complete with a stop at the hotel featured in The Shining (the book, not the movie).

SFM Conference/Disney World
Oct. 4-10: Orlando, Fla.
Another work trip turned fun when Mom decided to join me and play while I was working. The conference was cool because we got to have a reception at the Disney Studios after hours and ride the rides as many times as we wanted. We also got a tour of behind-the-scenes areas of the parks and a dessert reception at EPCOT for the fireworks on the last night. After the conference ended, my sister joined us, and the three of us had four days at Disney/Universal. We went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, where I downed delicious Butterbeer in no time.

That brings us to trips home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which as always are great. I've done pretty well with travel this year. In the coming year I hope to travel more, I have wishes of going to Chicago, N.C. and Salt Lake to see dear friends. Trips home for Kim and Dan's wedding. A dream of a trip to Ireland. Stay tuned.

Pass #2

December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I am so incredibly lucky with the friends I have. They change my perspective on things almost daily. It's hard to pinpoint certain instances when they have have changed my perspective in sudden bursts but a few things this year come to mind. A lot of this is pretty personal so I'd prefer not to share this time. Apologies for the fake blog, but at least you know why I'm not answering.

Five Minutes to Remember

December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

Casey's wedding weekends. The bachelorette party karaoke, our sleepover and breakfast afterwards, our dinner in Wicker Park followed by a night of nothing at the Kritikos house, the time in between the rehearsal and wedding where we just go to hang out, play adult mad libs and laugh. Casey walking down the aisle toward Phill, their first dance—choreographed and all. Casey and Phill entering Abe and Jake's to their song, the Sigmon's duet, the boys singing I Swear.

My trip to London
Seeing Jeff in his element, our first walk through Hyde Park, our visit to Harrod's pet Kingdom, our day drinking in Green Park, 80s dance party with just the two of us, Jack the Ripper walk, performance at The Globe, day wandering Camden market, eating and drinking in many, many pubs every night, finding Little Homies, watching Jeff laugh at Modern Family, arriving in Paris, walking through Latin Quarter, eating dinner in the Maurais, walking the Promenade plantee, eating a baguette in Place de Voges, poulet roti overlooking Notre Dame

Time's up. But if it wasn't, I'd add our epic January of fun, dance party on New Year's Eve, trip to Florida with mom and sis.

Oh Brooklyn...

December 14 – Appreciate What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

Let's call appreciating friends and family square. I appreciate them both more and more each year, this one especially, for keeping me sane.

So what have I come to appreciate this year? There's lots but the one that comes to mind right now is how grateful I am for the home I've created in Brooklyn. I never thought I'd be one of those Brooklyn-obsessed that the media (Gawker) derides at every opportunity. But I love living here. I still love our apartment, despite our truly crazy neighbor. It's large and cozy and has hosted some great nights. Watching AFV monkey clips, learning to play blackjack, Fall into Mexico, Pie Party—it's been a busy year at 228 7th Ave.

I'm grateful that I am able to live in this neighborhood. Despite the stereotypes—babies, rich people, strollers, which are all true—walking to and from the train everyday is not a chore, it's a joy. I love that the man that runs the coffee shop downstairs knows us and lets us know he's sad when he hasn't seen us in awhile. He voluntarily helped carry a dresser that I bought up the stairs for me. Plus, he gives Alison a discount on her coffee.

There's a little girl who belongs to the woman who owns the laundromat. She is there every time I go in. She is so confident and eager to talk to everyone. It seems so weird to me that she spends nearly every night of her childhood hanging out with strangers, but she couldn't be happier about it. As soon as I sit down she skips over to chat. Yes, she digs through my purse and can be a menace when all I want to do is read and wait for my laundry. But the other night I was there and she wanted me to read her books to her. At first I was annoyed by the interruption, but looking back, I could appreciate that this little girl is learning from this neighborhood and its residents. She talks to almost everyone that comes into the laundromat. So who am I to be annoyed by what she's come to expect, and deserve, from her community. I read her the books about numbers, asking her to count them for me. It was nice.

Up until a few months ago, we had friends within walking distance. This led to nights of Wii bowling and baseball that were as much fun as any night in a bar. Plus, nights of dancing and drinking at bars where I can walk home after. It was fantastic. Now they've moved to Manhattan, but that period made me love our neighborhood even more.

I appreciate the park, the Brooklyn Flea—my favorite place ever—the rows of streets with beautiful brownstones that have windows I can peek into and admire bookshelves, the restaurants I haven't tried, the shops waiting to be explored. Because as much as I've learned about Brooklyn this past year, there are still many things to be discovered. And that's something to appreciate too.

Pass

December 13 – Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

I prefer to keep these kind of things to the chest, hence the delay. I've decided to pass on this one. Apologies. Please accept this photo instead. This is me aspiring to space!

Mind and Body turn against each other

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Not quite sure what this means. But one instance came to mind, which is more about the after effects of this, but alas, here we go.

The first is when my mind and body were working as one so hard that my body paid a terrible price. I had a goal to try and swim at the gym. I enjoy being in a pool so I thought it would be a good way to motivate me to go to the gym. I've never really swam for exercise though. I'm still not convinced I know how to swim "properly." But I was ready to give it a go. I made what I thought was a manageable goal: 20 laps.

During the swim, it felt great. This was the point where mind and body integrated and I just moved without thinking. Completely free in the pool. That lasted until about lap 12. I made it about 15. I thought it was a solid effort but I was exhausted so threw in the towel. I slogged into the locker, proud for my first try.

Then the pain hit. So. Much. Pain. Like little knives every time I moved. I've never experienced pain so quickly after a workout. I shrugged it off as just me being out of shape and slowly walked home. I got in the shower and the pain was all consuming. I could barely raise my arms to shampoo my hair. I quickly retired to the couch where I stayed for the next 12 hours.

About two hours later, still in terrible pain, I began to feel ill. Was I hallucinating? Causing the pain to affect the rest of me? I was alternating between chills and being incredibly hot. I went to the bathroom, thinking I was going to be sick. When I realized nothing was coming, I waddled back to the couch to die—wracking my brain on what could have caused this. It couldn't just be a workout. Then I looked at my Coke and realized, uh, you have had no water today. You are dehydrated you idiot.

Case solved.

Eleven to eliminate

December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1. If my previous posts are any indication, I can stand to get rid of some laziness. Not all, clearly, but some. I need to be more proactive in many areas of my life. I hope to be able to do so in the coming year.

2. As mentioned in the previous post, I can do without Coca-Cola. My one vice. This guy came into our office and talked about how he quit drinking soda and lost a ton of weight. True, he also quit drinking a six-pack of beer a night but still. I need to seriously limit this addiction. After another unsuccessful attempt at quitting ended, I told my friend Carolyn that I had accepted that "Lindsey comes with a Coke. I haven't. I want to change. Any suggestions?

3. Related to #1, I can do without the guilt I feel for not going to the gym enough. I can eliminate this in two ways. Cancel my gym membership or just effing go to the gym. I want to choose the latter, I fear the former.

4. I would like to eliminate some of my debt this year. Work is going to help with some of that since my salary was recently restored to its pre-pay cut rate. But I need to create a budget and at least attempt to stick to it. I want to employ the savings master Corinne Kritikos in this matter.

5. My room is a mess. I need to clean it and eliminate some clutter.

6. My dentist tells me he needs to eliminate some of my gums. I got an infection awhile back and apparently I have excess gums. So maybe that will happen this year.

7. I also am suffering from a weird skin discoloration, which have affectionately come to be known as "my dots." I have had it for more than a year but finally went to the dermatologist about two months ago to seek treatment. She took one look at me and told me "I was a mess." Not what you want to hear. Apparently it is caused by the same thing that causes dandruff. So I have been trying to eliminate it for two months. They are still there, clear as day. So this battle will continue into 2011.

8. Having trouble coming up with more . . . I'll add my addiction to Five Guys to this as well. For those that don't know, I am regularly recognized at the Five Guys by my apartment. I've been asked for real estate advice by employees. They notice when I am not in pajamas and comment. They notice when I don't go in at least once a week. This is embarrassing on several levels. Not only because it's bad for me but also bad for my financials. I should cut back to once a month.

9. Most of these I'm finding have to do with me being lazy . . .

10. Uh . . .

11. Besides other trivial things, I think I should probably eliminate a lot of feelings of jealousy. Jealousy of other people's jobs, travels, etc. I'm not quite sure how to eliminate those besides eliminating my own laziness as previously discussed. I'll keep you posted.

Wise Up

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I can't really nail down what I'd consider the "wisest" decision I made this year. It ranges from seeking out some help to deal with dad-related stuff to forcing myself to limit my Five Guys consumption.Other "wise" decisions I made this year include, but are not limited to, the decision to go home for my Grandma's 90th birthday, the decision to put myself out there more, the decision to keep trying to quit drinking so much Coke, the decision to take a limo to Atlantic City, the decision to take mom and Lesley along to Florida and many more. All my decisions have played out in different ways—I had Five Guys tonight—but I am more concerned with the decisions I'm currently making or attempting to. Some I am not comfortable sharing in this "public" forum but the important thing is I'm making them. I am not trying to shirk them. I am trying to face them, while battling my incredibly lazy nature, which has been detailed in earlier posts. And i think the conscience effort to not shy away from decisions has my wisest decision of all.

Epic Janurary

(I'm late, deal)

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

January 2010 is a month that will live in infamy, for in that month there were three nights of fun that dwarfed most of the rest of the year. First was my birthday celebration. I had reserved space at an East Village bar called The Musical Box and Autumn doubted my estimated head count of 25. "No way will 25 people show up," she said. Final count was 28. Victory was mine, as were lots of drinks. Alison made whoopie pies. We ate at Paquitos, which turned into one of the funniest meals I have attended in recent memory. I met the elusive Boston Mike. I played the worst game of pool of my life. I chugged a final, ill-advised beer. i paid a terrible price the next morning. But man, a good start to my 26th year.

Then there was pie party. It was billed as a housewarming, though we'd lived in our apartment since August. This was the mildest of the three events but still a solid effort. At least five pies were made and devoured. It was also the night of the last Conan, so 20 of us crammed in our living room to watch. We played Catchphrase. We danced. But it was really just a precursor to the event that is was truly the best night of 2010 so far, Dean Wilkie's birthday (see photo).

Alison and I started the night at another friend's birthday, Jessi White, which was also a great time. Ice skating and a piano bar. Both fantastic. Then we made the trek back downtown to The Stanton Social where the birthday boy drank for free. The event began normally: A few drinks in the heated garden. but things got real when we heard the downstairs lounge was open. We quickly took over the dimly-lit room and as often does with this group, things got real with a dance party. Not sure if it was the drinks, or a particularly good playlist, but this dance party surpassed all when it migrated out into a transition room where people were waiting in line for the bathroom. Suddenly they were part of the dance party (see photo and note, I only know two of those pictured). When other bar patrons descended the stairs to use the restroom they were greeted by absolute chaos of our own making. I'm not proud of some of the pictures taken that night—very few look good in the midst of pure joy dancing—but I am proud we were able to rope cynical New Yorkers into what has to be the greatest impromptu dance party that bar has ever seen.

Beaky and Beautiful

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

I have a nose that some have said resembles Sam the Eagle. I've also been called birdie, bird brain, ducky and other assorted fowl by certain people. Apparently it came from my Grandpa John. Thanks Gramps.

I've tried to make it cute with a rabbit-like wiggle. It may have worked a time or two. It's not my favorite feature but it definitely makes me different. And so i guess by this post's logic, makes me beautiful. Thank you Gramps indeed.

Community

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I missed a day. I'll blame KU Basketball. Especially in light of the fact that my discussion of community will center around KU basketball and to a lesser degree (for me) football.

In a city this large it's tough to make new friends. I will admit that the majority of my close friends are still people who I knew from high school and college. However, the new friends I have made (mostly) have one thing in common: KU. Now, yes, it can be frustrating to just keep meeting people who already know people you know. That's why I've made a concentrated effort to meet people completely outside my social circle (to varied results) but there is still something comforting about the community of KU people in this city.

Ironically, I really fell into this group of people through Nebraska folks, but I've met some very cool people through going to watch KU games at really terrible bars. Admittedly, some are considered actual friends and some are not people I converse with at any other time than at a KU game, but that's OK too.

Last night I was part of this community, but multiplied by a thousand. I went to Madison Square Garden for the KU-Memphis game. The famed arena was filled with KU fans and everyone felt fine to talk to each other as if they'd known them for years. We blatantly eavesdropped on the people behind us, and then inserted ourselves into the conversation. I gave a complete stranger a high five. And yes we did spy celebrity KU fan, Jason Sudekis in the crowd, gladly taking photos and shaking hands with his brethren. It was fantastic. There is this sense of community in those places that makes everyone feel they belong. And they do—all united by a common purpose and passion. Which, when you think about it, is really what a community is all about.

Adventures in cooking

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Traditionally I can cook about six dishes: chili, tacos (and it's cousin taco bake), chicken Parmesan, pasta (in various, non-complicated forms as in i can heat noodles and pour sauce on top), Dijon blackened chicken and beef stroganoff (but not as well as mom).

I've made some new progress. i made up a recipe of baked eggs in tomato sauce after having it in a restaurant. My newest success may not be the last thing I made (that would be cookies for a cookie exchange, and before you get excited the main ingredient in the cookies was box cake mix), but it was definitely the most impressive.

Pupusas.

For uninitiated, pupusas are a traditional Salvadorian street food made from corn masa and stuffed with goodies like cheese, beans, chicken, etc. I became addicted to them at the Brooklyn Flea market, otherwise known as the best part of living in Brooklyn. When we were hosting our Fall into Mexico in October, Alison had baked goods covered so I thought I should contribute. A quick Martha Stewart video and I was ready. Plus, due to a birthday bowling trip, i had to make them in record time.

I mixed the flour with water, even eyeballing it to get the right consistency, rolled them into balls, filled them with goodies and cooked them. You top them with tomato sauce and sour cream and traditionally pickled cabbage (which I declined to include). They were the hit of the party, along with Alison's incredible pumpkin whoopies, which probably took more skill than making all of my aforementioned six dishes plus the pupusas combined.

Next on my list of things to make: something in my crock pot besides beef stroganoff , any suggestions?

Jack and I struggle with letting go

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I have trouble letting go of everything. Family. Friends. Boyfriend. I don't think I've made significant progress on any of those fronts this year. Although there is something I had to let go this year, that as trivial as it may seem to some, had quite an impact: the end of Lost. Why did I let it go? Because it made me.

Ironically, the finale of Lost is all about letting go, or better, moving on. Anyone who knows me knows that I get hooked on certain things and won't hear a bad word against them. Star Wars. The Godfather. Titanic. Harry Potter. When this happens I spend an inordinate amount of time reading, watching and listening to anything and everything I can about it. This was always true of Lost, but this May saw an especially embarrassing period of obsession. Articles, online videos, Times Talk, marathons—so much time was spent saying goodbye. But I believe it was all integral to the letting go process. It's my way of coping: excessive attention. I have been meaning to write my thoughts on the finale of Lost since it aired. I wanted to give it a second viewing before writing but I physically and emotionally could not bring myself to watch it again. And I couldn't do it until three months later. Even rewatching it after all that time took it out of me. I sat on the couch crying my eyes out, mourning the loss all over again.

What is it about Lost? Seven months later I still can't put my finger on it. I remember after my Dad passed away, thinking, man, he's never going to see the end of Lost. This upset me probably more than it should have. Plenty have called me crazy. plenty of questioned, even attacked, the show and its finale. My unabashed devotion remains though I've had to find new shows to fill its void. Modern Family, Glee and Boardwalk Empire are enjoyable and all but I know none will capture me the way Lost did.

And that's OK. As long as I accept what Lost creator, Damon Lindelof, tweeted the day after the show aired "Remember. Let go. Move on. I will miss it more than I can ever say."

Is it any wonder?

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Well my last entry was kind of a discussing of how I cultivated wonder this year. I returned to Europe to marvel at its splendors once again and see new sights. See aforementioned post for details. This still counts as blogging for the day.

Je me sens vivant!

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The sun was filling the little square with the kind of golden light usually reserved for romantic comedies. I should have been annoyed with all the people who surrounded me, but their chatter, incessant photo taking, foreign tongues and giggling children had no effect on me for I was one of them today, as much as I'd like to deny it. I snagged a seat and took in the scene around me. A scene that brought back many memories—a church service, a steak, a missing aunt—but I was still able to simply enjoy the exact moment I was in. I took a bite of a perfectly flaky pain au chocolat that none in New York can even compare to and heaved a sigh. I had made it back to Paris.

I had woken up at 3 a.m., caught two buses, a cramped plane, the stupid RER and a dank metro and when I finally arrived, unwashed and bleary eyed, I had never felt less tired. I quickly dropped off my luggage and headed out, turned a corner and there she was, bathing in the bluish-gray morning light.

Years of dreaming and scheming to get back there had finally paid off. I breathed in the smell of French bread, early fall and garbage—it is just a city after all—and you could have punched me and nothing could the smile from my face. I made the short walk along the Seine toward the Île Saint-Louis and I was practically skipping. I made my way down the narrow cobblestone streets where Paris began and stumbled into a brightly lit bakery, pastries gleaming in the still-early morning light. I made my request and my french flowed out as if I had never once forgotten how to say "Merci" and I quickly made my way to the square in front of Notre Dame. I hadn't planned it to be my first stop but it was like a magnet; pulling me to the true center of the city in order to welcome me back. It is where the above moment took place, me on a bench breathing in the beauty of the scene, enjoying my pastry and feeling satisfied, giddy, content and more alive than I'd felt in months.

Writing for a living...

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

There is so much that contributes to my inability to write for myself. The easy answer is exhaustion. I write and edit all day. Yes, this is what I always wanted to do. I did everything in my power to make sure that I was able to write for a living. But writing in my current job exhausts me instead of exalts me. Not that it is difficult—I write the same four stories over and over again—a foodservice operation got renovated, is going green, is raising prices or increasing menu/grab-and-go options. The idea is that since I write about these things all day, it should make me want to take the time to write about things I enjoy even more. Doesn't happen. I get home and the last thing in the world I want to do is write.

Instead I turn on my old friend TV—another large impediment to my writing. Man, I love TV. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Some say we are in a Golden Age of television and I agree in many regards and do my part to support it. I should take my love of TV and take it to this blog. I want to start writing recaps of my shows, like the ones I enjoy reading so much. So why haven't I? Pure laziness? Absolutely. But there’s something else . . .

There is the worry that no one will read it. Terrified that people will and not like it. My pal talked about her fear of writing in her post today and I can completely relate. I fear writing for myself because I care so much. I hate when I write something on my own time that doesn't make me proud, unlike the writing I currently do for a paycheck. I accept that my creative license at work is limited by my publication's voice. My boss constantly tells me to be less "cute/clever/funny/ alliterative" in my writing. It squashes all the pleasure out of writing at work that now I fear my creativity has been stamped out of me at home too. I read stuff I wrote awhile ago and can feel proud that I was able to get a little of myself in there. Now it's tougher to remember what "my" voice is.

How can I remedy this? Well the TV one is easy—I will write during commercials. You thought I'd say I'd turn it off...never! The laziness I'm working on by participating in this blogging-once-a-day business. I’m hoping it makes writing into a habit, like checking my Google Reader. As for the fear, I'm not quite sure I want it to go away. It makes me try . . . try to be better . . . try to be consistent . . . and try harder to write in a way that makes me proud.

One word

A post a day to reflect on the year by answering daily prompts from here. I failed miserably at this last year. But I want to write every day so badly! My laziness always seems to get the better of me. So I'll give it a go again. I won't do as well as her but in the immortal words of The Joker, here...we...go!

December 1
One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Way to start this off with an impossible task. Encapsulate your entire year in one measly word. Especially this year. It's been a tough one. But choosing the word "tough" would make me seem like a negative Nancy.

So what do you do when things get tough? You rebound. But that makes it seem like I've been taking a lot of meaningless steps toward something. So what's a happier version of rebound?

...(checks thesaurus)...

heal
rejuvenate
boomerang
no...

RALLY
1. to muster for a common purpose
2. to recall to order
3. recover, rebound
4. to come together again

I like it. It fits in many ways.

I watched friends get married and engaged. I rallied (see last provided definition) for those events and loved every second of them.

I traveled to London and Paris on my own. It wasn't a smart financial move. But it felt absolutely necessary to my recovery. To my ability to rally for all the rest.

And elephant in the room of this year—I lost my dad.
One year ago last month. I haven't recovered. I haven't forgotten. But I rallied. And I made it.

Chatting . . . with Alison Peterson

Slow summer, yes. But this needs to be shared:

Background: Our DVR has been messing up and just recording blackness.

Lindsey: The DVR messed up everything last night. I rebooted it and hopefully that will help.
Alison: Ok, I can take a look too. Crazy DVR.
Lindsey: It's probably mad we've been watching dvd and now it's rebelling.
Alison: It's only natural to feel threatened.
Lindsey: Plus, DVD slept with DVR and never called again. Betrayal.
Alison: hahaha. technological romance.

Lindsey: haha. dvd is sick of being on top. i foresee a torrid romance. one interrupted by router and/or speakers.
Alison: hahaha. DVR complains that DVD isn't innovative enough.
Lindsey: plus dvd is always sticking its tray out.
Alison: sometimes prematurely.
Lindsey: bahahahaha
Alison: dvr is sick of dvd's insecurities. dvd is threatened by blu-ray.
Lindsey: dvd remembers when vcr left him. he's insecure. there was a time they worked as a team. then it all fell apart.
Alison: It's a wound that will take awhile to heal. dvr has seen laptop hanging around. begging to be "plugged in." everyone's insecure.
Lindsey: hahahaha. laptop and tv have a new thing going. dvd is jealous of that too. it's new though, so they are still feeling each other out.
Alison: hahaha. lots of new emotions. new techniques. love is a battlefield.
Lindsey: haha. which cd player plays sadly in the background.
Alison: hahahaha. while itunes plays the sharper remix version.

...
Alison: the laptop has lit a newspaper on fire. a riot has broken out.
Lindsey: bahahahaha. books jump out the window.
Alison: hahaha. there's a skeleton of a radio.
Lindsey: haha. with a bottle of poison leaning against it.

Wow

Sex and the City 2

It's never a good sign when the announcement of a sequel inspires a groan rather than a squeal. I accepted the first movie for what it was—an excuse to revisit old friends and finally marry that reluctant bride Carrie off. It had its moments. See review here.

But I was done. As much as I enjoyed the show, the big screen wasn't doing it any favors. So it was with a heavy heart that I processed the fact that another one was on its way. Now that it has arrived, I'd beg and plead for the cast and crew to stop killing a show that was cherished by so many.

The film starts with a wedding between Stanford and Anthony. The only gay recurring characters so they naturally could only find happiness with each other—the characters' series-long hatred of each other somehow forgotten. I can't bear to go into detail about the scenes at the wedding but to note that they descend into ridiculous camp (Oh hey, Liza) way too quickly. The wedding serves to push the plot that every couple is different and can make up its own rules. This leads to the revelation that Big has become a bit of a homebody as the years have progressed and this upsets Carrie. The solution (according to Big) is to separate from his wife for two days a week. Now, we've watched Carrie and Big for 12 years. I just don't buy that this is an actual problem in their relationship. They have both put each other through the ringer and now their be-all end-all problem is that Big bought a TV for their anniversary and not a ridiculous piece of jewelry? Be happy he didn't buy you a bejeweled duck purse again.

Meanwhile Miranda is suffering under a chauvinist boss, Charlotte is realizing her quest for kids comes with a heavy price (a ruined vintage Valentino to be specific) and Samantha has actually regressed as a character into a full on caricature of her season one self. In the guise of shaking things up, Samantha sets up an all-expenses paid trip to Abu Dhabi. What an idea? Let's put these girls in the Middle East. Hilarity! Hijinks!

What really happens is a complete disrespect of a culture much older than ours. Somehow as long as the shoulders are covered (or one shoulder in Carrie's case), the breasts must be able to heave freely. I had read that the filmmakers’ goal with the film was a complete fantasy. Extravagant clothes, cars and fun. What's missing is any sense of caring for the characters or feeling anything but appalled at how this franchise has devolved into such a materialistic charade. Sure, clothes, shoes and shopping were a part of the TV show. But, in my opinion, a very small part of what made the show great. It was the relationship between these four women playing off their individual relationships with their respective others that kept my interest during six seasons. The first movie at least showed actual emotion—Carrie breaking down in the bathroom after being jilted at the alter. I felt nothing of the sort this time around. Even when my personal favorite of the many men (Aiden) shows up to ogle. The closest it came to showing anything real is after Charlotte, ignoring her kids while on the phone, is the victim of red paint on her vintage skirt. She shuts herself into the pantry for one moment of escape and tears. I have no kids, but I can imagine many mothers might have these breakdowns at some point. Though it's unclear if she's more upset about her skirt being ruined than the hardships of being a mother.

A long made defense of the movies (and the show to some extent) is that they are just silly fun. That's fine. I had a "good" time watching it. I had a great night out with an old friend with the hope of watching some other old friends. It's only later when I think about where this franchise has taken us that the disappointment washes over me . As a fan of the show, I'll again pray that these movies are done. Let the show rest in peace and on DVD where better writing and emotion can stay safe. You won't find it in this film. You'll just witness the sad fact that whatever joy that was once found in watching these women has been squeezed out by a desire to sell products—be it an HP computer or marriage itself.

Too amazing not to share...

Courtesy of Adrienne.

Part I

I Swear from adrienne a on Vimeo.

Part II

I Swear, Part II from adrienne a on Vimeo.

Good times fellas

And that's 100% ladies and gents. A thank you. My address is available on request for that "something pretty."

Thank you and good night!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

It's that time again . . . Oscar time! Here are my predictions for the major categories. You know the drill, if I get 100%, you all must send me something pretty.

Best Picture
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up in the Air Up

Will Win: The Hurt Locker
Should Win: Inglourious Basterds

Ok, considering they upped the nominees from five to 10, I did pretty well. I've seen them all except An Education and A Serious Man. I may make it to An Education this weekend but regardless I have a well formed opinion of most of these and I don't think my ignorance of those two will affect my decision. The Blind Side is a joke. I seriously laughed out loud when I saw it on here. I only saw it because my mom wanted to and although it's fine for its type of movie (meaning sappy and ridiculous) there is no way it deserves to be on this list. I'd rather Star Trek, Fantastic Mr. Fox, hell even The Hangover taken its place. Avatar is a phenomenal movie. In all areas besides story and dialogue, it blows the rest of these movies out of the water. However, I happen to think plot and dialogue are important in determining Best Picture, so I will be very upset if James Cameron is given the opportunity to once again make a fool out of himself, no matter how much I love what he's created. Up will win Best Animated Film so it won't get the the votes here. District 9 is the populist choice that deserves to be here but won't win. Precious' performances are the star, not the film as a whole. Up in the Air is wonderful, almost too effortless to win the big prize, so that leaves my should win, Inglourious Basterds and my will win The Hurt Locker. Inglourious Basterds is the only one on the list where my jaw was dropped at the end and I was in complete awe of what I'd just seen. It's the complete package of story, visuals and performances—truly the best picture. The Hurt Locker did something else. It has all that, plus it takes the war film and makes it not about war. Plus, it's a war film—a completely masculine genre that happened to be directed by a woman. It breaks ground in many ways and that is why it will win.

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Will Win: Kathryn Bigelow
Should Win: Kathryn Bigelow

This is tough because in terms of direction, the sheer scope of Avatar and what it took to get made deserves recognition. That can't be denied. But I think James Cameron got that recognition in the tremendous box office of his film. He has his Oscar. Like I said above, Kathryn Bigelow made a war film not about war. It's about the men who are addicted to war. It's gritty, intimate and beautiful in its own way. All the performances are pitch perfect and, again, the fact that this man film was made by a woman can't be ignored. As for the rest of them, this is really a two-way race and they will all have other chances.

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker


Will Win: Jeff Bridges
Should Win: Colin Firth

Full disclosure: I haven't seen Crazy Heart. I'm sure Jeff Bridges is great in it and he probably deserves the win he's about to get. However, I'm rooting for a personal favorite and someone who's "time" it would have been if Bridges not slipped in at the last minute, Colin Firth. A Single Man is a gorgeous film, and he is phenomenal in it as a early-1960s professor who is unable to display grief after he learns his lover (Matthew Goode) has died. It's quiet but powerful, which I often find more intriguing then chewing the scenery acting (see Christoph Waltz nomination). The same can be said of Clooney in Up in the Air, but his performance, like the movie itself, could be seen as too effortless. While it takes a lot of work to make it look so easy, I don't think this is the role that will bring him his second Oscar. There could be a surprise upset with Jeremy Renner coming to spoil Bridges' party, but I assume he'll suffer from the "he'll have other changes" brigade of Academy voters.

Best Actress
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

Will Win: Sandra Bullock
Should Win: Meryl Streep

Full Disclosure, part II: I haven't seen The Last Station, though I don't think I'm alone in that. It barely got any press or push, though what I have read, it sounds wonderful. And I don't doubt that Helen Mirren is fantastic, but she already has her Oscar and for the more deserving role from what I can tell. Should the Academy just reward Bullock for trying something different? Something that doesn't make most of them cringe at just the preview like most of her movies of late. I don't think so. But all indications seem to be saying that she will, it's her "time" as they say. Thus Oscar will get a winner that is, by box office numbers, a fan favorite. Enjoy the ratings, too bad the best actress won't really be rewarded. That should go to Miss. Streep, who everyone knows would give a killer acceptance speech and who really deserves it for being able to channel a beloved figure like Julia Child and not make her cartoonish as she well could have been. As for Mulligan and Sidibe, the nomination is your prize.

Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds


Will Win: Christoph Waltz
Should Win: Christoph Waltz

Hands down this belongs to Waltz for the very thing I criticized a few paragraphs above. But if you can't chew scenery in a Tarantino film, where can you? And he does it wonderfully. Equal parts charming and terrifying, his Nazi soldier is one of Tarantino's best baddies and he'll be rewarded justly for it. None of the other gentlemen measure up, I'm afraid, though Woody, it's nice to see you as always.

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhall, Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'nique, Precious


Will Win: Mo'nique
Should Win: Mo'nique

This race has been over for months and all the ladies honored know it. But it is over for a reason because Mo'nique's performance as an abusive mother is just sickeningly good. If the scene in the social worker's office where she gives her "justification" for how she treats Precious doesn't make you cry, you are officially dead inside. Had it not been for her, I'd have cheered on Anna Kendrick for giving a performance that resonates strongly with those in my generation. The up-starters who think we know it all. Plus, you make Twilight bearable, so thank you for that.

So that's the major categories. The last one I mentioned already above: Best Animated Film. It will go to Up, though I'd rejoice if Fantastic Mr. Fox won, which includes my favorite Clooney and Streep roles of the year. So tune in this Sunday to see how I do, and leave comments where you think I've gone wrong.

Hilarity

This video has provided no small amount of amusement to me and some friends. I thought it best to share so everyone can enjoy. The accent really makes it from just funny to HI-larious. I just read that this a few years old, but I guess I'm late to the party.

2009 Movie Rundown

And here is the annual rundown of what I saw this year in theaters. My moviegoing increased from 33 films last year to 41. I'm not sure if I should be proud of that or not . . . but for now I'll say I am. Well done me. It's been a tough year, these movies helped me get through it, even the bad ones. My top 10 is forthcoming, but this is clearly a preview. For now these are in alphabetical order.

Perfection
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Star Trek
(500) Days of Summer

Excellent
Adventureland
Avatar
District 9
The Hangover
Michael Jackson's This is It
A Single Man
The September Issue
Two Lovers
Up
Up in the Air
Where the Wild Things Are

Solid
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
The Invention of Lying
It's Complicated
Julie & Julia
Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
Whip It
Zombieland

Decent
Coraline
Coco Before Chanel
Duplicity
Earth
Funny People
I Love You, Man
The Informant!
Public Enemies
Whatever Works

Dumb but Enjoyable
Angels and Demons-only because of Ewan McGregor is this not in bad.
The Blind Side
He's Just Not that Into You
The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Eh
The Lovely Bones

Bad
Bride Wars
Couples Retreat
Extract
The Proposal
The Taking of Pelham 123
Watchmen

Wanted to see but didn't be they good or bad
Amelia
Away We Go
Food, Inc.
Gentlemen Broncos
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Inglorious Basterds
In the Loop
Moon
New York, I Love You
Nine
Paper Heart
Paranormal Activity
The Road
Sherlock Holmes
Sunshine Cleaning
Taken
Taking Woodstock
The Time Traveler's Wife
Year One
2012

Best of 2009

Ok, so I sucked big time on the one post at a time business. Sorry about that. But I still wanted to share my personal bests of 2009, in movies at least. Along with the rundown of every movie I saw and where it falls on the spectrum. So let's start with my top 10. This year, I decided to judge on two things:
1. The feeling I left the theater with.
2. The film's watchability—would I want to watch it again and again?

So here we go...

Top 10 movies of 2009

(500) Days of Summer
I'm a sucker—this has been well documented. I have accepted it but this doesn't make this movie any less adorable, fun and still heartbreaking. Perhaps it was when I watched it, but i think we all can relate to the feeling Joesph Gordan-Levitt feels in this movie—only remembering the good and overlooking the bad. Sure, movies have been told out of order before but even though we know how it ends for Summer and Tom, that doesn't make it any less fun to watch. From the inclusion of the infamous penis game (which friends of mine—you know who you are—have played many times) to the heartbreaking split screen showing Tom's expectations versus reality set to Regina Spektor, no other movie made me so eager to laugh and cry over and over again.

Fantastic Mr. Fox
It's rare for a movie to literally make me smile the entire time and keep that smile as I walk out the theater and even as i make my way home. Fantastic doesn't begin to describe this one. I loved everything about it—the jerky animated puppets, the father issues, the cussing. You know I love a movie when the only thing I can say about is EEEEE!


Adventureland
It's hard to nail down exactly why I like this movie so much. It's a well-known fact i can't stand Kirsten Stewart or her mouth, but I was able to overlook it for this sweet, funny coming-of-age in the 80s tale. I liked that it was cool 80s, not cheesy 80s like The Wedding Singer. I think most people my age have had that job (summer) or otherwise where the people you work with become your best friends for a period of time. Jesse Eisenberg is an unlikely leading man, like Michael Cera before him, but by the end of the movie, he'd won me over. As had Ryan Reynolds. Any movie that can do that deserves recognition.

Up in the Air
Sometimes its refreshing to see a movie for adults where adults act like adults and talk like them. Now George Clooney is always a good idea, clearly. But an even better idea is casting hims as the old news. Sparring with a young whippersnapper brings out the best in him. Not to mention sparring with a romantic equal his own age. The last time he did that, he defined sexy banter in Out of Sight. This time it's just as fun if more reserved. I love the ending image. Full of sadness but still possibility.

Star Trek
I was always a Star Wars versus star Star Trek kind of girl. Mostly, because I had never really seen Star Trek. My parents used to watch The Next Generation, but i barely remember much beyond Patrick Stewart's captain's log. So I went into this with a complete ignorance of prior Star Trek knowledge. I was blown away. I'm clearly okay with the time travel stuff (ahem, Lost) so I bought and enjoyed every minute of this. Enough that I went and tried to rent on the old Star Trek's and was disappointed to find they aren't on Netflix. Boo.

Avatar
This inspired another sort of emotion while watching and leaving the theater. To be honest, I had my doubts. When I saw the preview, like many others, I was skeptical. I knew I'd still see it, after all I have a weird faith in James Cameron and my friend Clint had worked on it down in New Zealand. But then the advance word of mouth captured my attention. So I rushed to get a last minute ticket to a 3D IMAX show on opening weekend. I was floored. I'm not stupid. The story is predictable and the dialogue clunky. So is Titanic. So is Star Wars. However, like Titanic and Star Wars, I was completely taken to a new place and isn't that what movies are all about? Honestly, it made me sad thinking that I couldn't go see it with my dad. I literally can't remember leaving a theater and being so giddy that i felt the need to call everyone i knew and talk about it. Is it Shakespeare? No. Is it incredibly entertaining and visually stunning? Absolutely.

Up
An animated movie that can make you cry in the first fifteen minutes is something special. I loved the bird, loved the talking dog and loved the grumpy old man.Though I think the first half is much stronger than the second half, I still wept like a baby at the end and marveled at the 3D.


District 9
It's been a good year for smart sci-fi (see Star Trek above) and this film, which for those that don't know, shows a world where aliens have arrived and quickly been segregated from the human population. The film is shot in rough documentary style and can be shocking in its splatter effects, but is affecting nonetheless. Though I had to turn away often to escape the sickening images, the film was still incredibly entertaining. Plus I'm all for films having a message and knowing that this serves an allegory for apartheid, but not having it explicitly shoved down your throat was refreshing.

The September Issue
It's no secret I adore magazines. Thought I'm not a regular reader of Vogue, I do enjoy reading about the innerworkings of the place. Since i know how magazines operate, getting a peek into the top ones are always a treat. This documentary follows Editor-Chief, and Devil Wears Prada inspiration Anna Wintour and her team as they put together the largest issue of Vogue ever. But the real story is watching Grace Coddington, Vogue's creative director, do battle with the Wintour and seeing how much she loves and lives her job, even though she gets little recognition for how much she does. Sure, a fashion magazine seems a frivolous subject for a genre that usually tackles much more serious subjects, but I still found this one incredibly fascinating and entertaining, and just reinforced my love of my profession, even if where I work feels very far from Vogue.

A Single Man
This snuck in right at the end of my viewing cutoff. Directed by fashion designer Tom Ford, I can say with confidence this was one of the most stylish films i saw this year. Colin Firth, always in style stars as man who is devastated when his longtime lover (the always attractive Matthew Goode) suddenly dies. It's set in the early 1960s, therefore he is unable to show his grief in public. This film's power is really in silences and Colin Firth has never been less Darcy-ish. Still impeccably charming, but you can really see his grief in every scene and he's never been more affecting.